Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
