My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
