You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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