Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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