i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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