I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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