Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
