Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
