Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
