glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish you could order shots online.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
