Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
