So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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