Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
