from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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