dude i'm inner monologue high
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
