Ambien. No doubt about it.
i think i have two assholes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
