I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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