wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But break dance skills will only take you so far
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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