would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
