He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
