I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
