epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize