so explain again why im purple
no
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize