okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
