There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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