This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
