Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
