WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
