Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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