My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
