Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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