Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
