if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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