So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
