she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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