he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
