i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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