O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
