I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
