I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
