Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
