piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
