I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize