dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
