Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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