She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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