So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I love you. Go after that dick
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
