Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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