Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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