I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
