He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
