My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
