it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
