I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
